Britney Shears

Ok, I realize that this post is really really really like, late.  I mean, Britney shaved her head like 4 centuries ago in entertainment news years.  But I saw a picture of her the other day with the shaved head and got to thinking. First, she didn't look THAT bad. Why do people FREAK OUT when a woman shaves her head?!  And that made me then think about how much I totally understand why she did it.  It was a big 'f-you' to everybody.  She was tired of being what everybody else thought she should be.  She was mentally 'off', yes.  That's really not up for debate. However, sometimes I think we get mentally unstable because we are not being who we are and we are too busy trying to figure out what everybody else expects us to be.  I have short hair, I love it.  It suits me.  However, I mostly hate it. (Yes, I'm aware that in a previous sentence I said I loved it.) It's never just 'perfect'.  And it really boils down to this, it's totally not about the hair.  My hair and how I feel about it is a reflection of what's going on in my life.  I have often thought about shaving it off, and when I do, I think of Britney and I think.. hey.. that was pretty brave.

I go from having moments of pure gratitude and grace, to being just as confused and worried as ever.  Sometimes I think that my father having cancer is really waking me up to the fact that my time on this planet is finite.  I dyed my hair a shocking red today.  It's gorgeous, but I'm not sure I would have done it if I wasn't feeling like .. I don't know, like I'm tired of sitting around waiting for life to happen to me.  Sitting around waiting for things to be 'better' before I live.  Sitting around waiting for 'shit to get done' before I can relax.  Sitting around waiting for inspiration to strike.  I'm realizing that the beauty of life is that we have to find our inspiration, we have to stop waiting.  Life is fucking messy.  I mean, beyond your wildest dreams messy.  Like so fucked up sometimes I wonder what the point is.